Ego Attachments
In our ego’s quest to ensure status and success, it will attach to many things. These attachments become part of our identity, part of the way we prove our specialness. They give us a reason to feel good about ourselves. We may become attached to our achievements, believing that we can prove our worth through our accomplishments. We may become attached to our social standing, believing we need to be better than others in order to be okay. We may become attached to our material possessions, believing we need the newest, nicest things to establish who we are. We may become attached to our ideas and beliefs, believing we need to prove that we are right, that we know better than others. This is how we avoid feelings of inferiority, this is how we make sure we “win”.
But the consequences are steep. Ego driven goals can take over everything. We may find ourselves obsessively pursuing success without any thoughts of how it is hurting us. The fear of losing our status or damaging our self-image may lead to working ourselves to burnout. Our ego constantly chases external validation, never content in who we are. Never allowing us to be who we really are. Ego attachments can damage our relationships as well. We may obsess over our own success at the detriment of our connections. Our ego may drive us to compete with those we love, putting them down and needing to prove we are better. We may rigidly hold onto our opinions or never admit when we have made a mistake. We may have a hard time being vulnerable, letting others see our authentic selves. Our ego doesn’t make us bad, but it doesn’t take us to where we really want to go.
Some of the things our ego attaches to are good and beautiful things. It is our mindset around them that matters. Pursuing a career in order to live out a passion or provide a good life for one’s self or one’s family is a beautiful thing. It is not the same as pursuing success in order to bolster our self image. It is not the same as obsessively chasing it at all costs. Wanting to express who we are is a beautiful thing. It is not the same as frantically spending time and money to establish our worth in external things. Wanting to take care of ourselves and be the best we can be is a beautiful thing. It is not the same as constantly striving for perfection and berating ourselves when we inevitably fall short. Our ego will come up again and again, that is part of what it means to be human. But everything shifts when we release its rigidity and insecurity and make space for openness and connection.
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