Relying on Others
Self-care is an important part of wellness, but it will only take us so far. We could take perfect, meticulous care of ourselves at all times and it still wouldn’t be enough. It can’t be enough. We aren’t meant to care for ourselves alone. We need help. We need other people to listen to us, to be there for us when we are hurting. We need different perspectives. We need to be challenged. Social connections are one of the most important components of mental wellness and resiliency. These connections provide validation, emotional support, and help when we need it. We don’t have to go it alone.
It can be hard to admit we need help. Feeling needy, feeling like we don’t have what it takes to independently take care of ourselves at all times can feel like weakness. It can feel like there is something wrong with us. It can feel safer to put on a brave face. To pretend everything is okay. To take care of others instead of letting them take care of us. We forget that our basic nature is one of interdependence. All humans have love and belongingness needs. All of us need to give and receive help and support in order to be healthy. It’s a fundamental part of what it means to be human.
This can be scary. People sometimes let us down. Healthy connections can be hard to find. Perhaps we have been hurt in the past. Perhaps we feel lonely and isolated. It can feel safer to say that we don’t need others than to keep getting hurt. It can feel easier to shut those needs down than to figure out how to get them met. It’s important to protect ourselves from people who are hurting us. But we still need love. We still need support. Reaching out for help from a therapist is important in this space. It can be hard to let our walls down. It takes work to learn how to trust people again. It can take direction to find our way to community.
Admitting that we are hurting, admitting that we need support is a vulnerable thing. Vulnerability requires trust. Trust that we will be treated with kindness. Trust that we will get our needs met. Trust that we will still be lovable even when we don’t have it all together. Vulnerability can be hard, even with those we trust. But we cannot be truly seen without vulnerability. We cannot be truly loved. Vulnerability is the path to being held while we cry. To knowing we’re not alone. To knowing we don’t have to do it all on our own. When we are vulnerable, we let others in. We let them fill our cup. We let them show us that we are lovable, even with all our messy parts. To give us a different perspective. To show us that we aren’t crazy. That we aren’t alone.
Are you ready to learn more about what therapy could be for you?
Therapy is a very personal journey and you deserve to feel seen and supported by your therapist. Please reach out if you would like to explore working together.