Letting Go of Overthinking
Overthinking can feel like it’s helping us. Like if we only tried a little harder, we could find a solution and avoid uncertainty and pain. Overthinking only takes us out of the present moment. Rumination pulls us into the past, our minds replaying situations again and again. We look for all the ways we went wrong or where things could have gone differently. Worry pulls us into the future. We try to control the uncontrollable, to anticipate all possible pitfalls so we can keep ourselves safe. We think and think about the same things, hoping to land on some kind of resolution. But we never get there. Overthinking never helps. The more we engage with our obsessive spiral of thoughts, the more stressed and foggy our minds become. We end up depressed, anxious, and cut off from our lives. Letting go of overthinking can be feel like giving up control. But taking that leap of faith is our first step to peace.
When we are stuck in the fog of overthinking it can be hard to separate ourselves from our thoughts. These steps provide a guideline for letting go of these intrusive thoughts.
Step one: Acknowledge that you are overthinking
Identifying intrusive thoughts for what they are allows you to put some space between yourself and the thoughts. Negative thought patterns are repetitive and draining. They do not lead to tangible solutions. They contribute to feelings of depression, anxiety, and self-doubt. Use these criteria to evaluate if you are experiencing unhelpful thoughts.
Step two: Stop engaging with the thoughts
Overthinking is based on trying to find a solution or certainty where none can be had. When we let go of trying to solve the thoughts they begin to lose their power. Pushing them away or engaging with them will only make them stronger and make you feel worse. Instead, simply label them as intrusive thoughts and allow them to be there.
Step three: Access your wise inner self
Intrusive thoughts are often a sign that we need some self-care. If the thoughts are self-critical, use them as an opportunity to practice self-compassion. If they are fear-based, use them as an opportunity to practice acceptance. There is a wise inner voice we each have that knows that whatever we are ruminating on does not make use bad people and that whatever we are worrying about isn’t bigger than we are. Listen to that voice.
Step four: Expand
Our minds get stuck in ruts, like sled tracks accumulating on a snowy hill. Rumination and worry only make those ruts deeper. When we are able to stop digging and expand our minds, we learn new ways of thinking and develop healthier ways of relating with our minds. Expanding out of the ruts could look like giving your attention to what you are doing in the present moment. It could look like practicing self-care or moving your body. Whatever it is, put the obsessions away and engage in your life.
Freedom from intrusive thoughts comes with letting go. Letting go of the control we wish we had. Letting go of the certainty we wish we could receive. Letting go of the perfect selves we wish we could be. This can bring up emotions that can be hard to let ourselves feel. Intrusive thoughts often attempt to mask these emotions, but they only keep us stuck in them. Feeling these feelings allows us to arrive at acceptance. As we move towards acceptance, we are able to reconnect with ourselves and reconnect with our lives.
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