The Power of Self-Compassion
Empathy, kindness and compassion are the great forces that bring positive change and energy into our world. When we receive them, we are able to let go of feelings of shame and worthlessness. We are able to heal, to move past our own brokenness into a space of growth and positive change for ourselves and the world. The opposite is also true. Shame, blame and judgment separate us from the light. They fuel negative beliefs about ourselves and the world. They break us down and separate us from our true nature.
We know this is true in our relationships with those we love. We tell our closest friends that they are good and worthy. That they will get back up when they fall down. We see why they fall. We know it is because they have been hurt, because they are afraid, because they have something to learn. Not because of who they are. We know this in our bones, and we do all we can to show them the light we see inside them. We feel pain when others hurt them, when we do. We make amends when we say things we don’t mean, we build them up. This is how we love them, this is how we help them be the best they can be.
It can be so hard to connect with that compassion for ourselves. Our own inner dialogue very often sounds nothing like the way we speak to those we love. We can be so hard on ourselves. Our minds get trapped in an endless loop of where we fall short, how we aren’t good enough. We fixate on our flaws, barely noticing the places we are growing. We get frustrated with our weakness, attempting to bully ourselves into being better. This voice, our inner critic, feels like it will protect us somehow. If we can only punish ourselves for every way we fall short, we will finally learn to get it right.
The problem is this just doesn’t work. If we think we can’t be better, that we are innately flawed in some way, we give up. We stop trying. We would never expect a child or someone we love to grow in an environment of negativity and shame. We won’t either. Our thoughts matter. They make up so much of our reality. We carry them with us wherever we go. Imagine if we could learn to speak to ourselves with the same tenderness and compassion we reserve for those we love. If we could spend less time speaking to ourselves with the voice of the inner critic and learn to cultivate the voice of the inner best friend. If we could have empathy for where we are and believe that we can get to where we want to be. This is the only way into our future, this is the only way to become who we are meant to be.
Are you ready to learn more about what therapy could be for you?
Therapy is a very personal journey and you deserve to feel seen and supported by your therapist. Please reach out if you would like to explore working together.