We live in an age of distraction. Our lives are busy, we play many roles and juggle countless tasks. It gets hard to keep track of it all and multitasking starts to feel like the only option. It becomes more of a struggle to keep our attention on the present moment. Whenever our minds begin to wander, we have limitless ways to distract ourselves. Boundless information, ideas, and entertainment compete for our time. The more we engage in these patterns of wandering attention, the more deeply ingrained they become. Distraction makes it difficult to focus on the things we care about. Our minds feel muddled and overwhelmed. We are less present with our relationships and the things that bring us joy. It gets harder to take care of ourselves and pay attention to what our bodies need. Our busy minds make it difficult to find rest, peace and sleep. And the more stressed and fatigued we become, the more difficult it is to focus.

How often do we rush through our days, not making time to appreciate the beauty around us? How often do we fixate on what is wrong or could go wrong instead of appreciating all that is good and whole in our lives? How often do we believe we will only be happy once we attain some future goal instead of cultivating joy in our present lives? This isn’t a personal failing. Our brains are designed to notice problems so that we can address them and protect ourselves. But we lose out on so much if we stay in this automatic, limited mindset. We could end up missing out on our entire lives. 

There is a part of each of us that wants to be the best. That wants to win, to be liked, to get ahead. Sometimes this part takes over and our ego drives us to tear others down so that we can feel more powerful. Or it finds us lacking, believing we aren’t good enough because we don’t have what others do. We judge ourselves, we judge others. The consequences are hurt, shame and a sense of separation. Taken to its extreme, the ego can lead to war, hatred, and violence. It contributes to anxiety, depression, and feeling like we are never good enough. Our quest to be the best only ends up bringing out the worst in us.

Our life is made up of present moments. That’s all we ever have. This moment, here and now. In its beauty, its fragility, its simplicity. But life is long and complex, and we easily get lost. We ruminate about the past, we worry about the future. We spend our days lost in the busy haze of what needs to be done next. We lose connection with ourselves. We lose connection with life. Mindfulness can help us find a way back to the present.

Life gets hectic. We are often pulled in a million directions throughout the day. We are overworked and under supported. Busyness becomes a lifestyle. We scramble from one thing to another, always feeling behind. A running list of what needs to be done racing through our minds. We feel out of control. Like we’ll never get it all done. Peace starts to feel like a mirage. We chase after it with all we have but somehow never quite arrive. 

My name is Marissa Valeriano and I am a therapist from Hoboken, NJ. I have wrestled with the idea of writing this blog for a long time now. Journaling has been a life changing tool in my own wellness journey and one that I have seen help my clients in a thousand ways over the years. When we write we are able to create space between ourselves and the swirling thoughts in our heads, we are better able to clarify our kaleidoscope of emotions into something that feels true.