Compassion and Meaning in Suffering
Suffering is part of life. Our own suffering, the suffering of others, the suffering of our world. It can feel meaningless. It can make us question the goodness of life. It can steal our hope. But suffering can also open our hearts to those around us. It can instill within us a tenderness, a compassion that nothing else can. And this compassion is the path to life’s meaning. It binds humanity together and reveals how thin the veil is between us. Compassion shows us how we are one.
When a loved one is hurting, we hurt too. When a friend’s heart breaks, we can feel our own breaking with it. We can feel their loss, their desperation and their fear as if it were our own. This isn’t a comfortable feeling. We truly suffer with them. Sometimes we try to escape this pain, to bury it in fixing or avoiding. But if we allow ourselves to feel it, if we let go of seeking control over the pain, it becomes the doorway to wisdom. In another’s suffering we discover the truth. We see how profoundly we are one.
This is true when we are the ones falling apart as well. When the unimaginable happens, when the day to day struggles wear us down, it is the people around us that get us through. They show up for us. They feel our pain. They hold us when we cry. It can be hard to open ourselves up to receiving this care. We may fear that we will appear weak or that we will get hurt. Trust makes vulnerable, human beings aren’t perfect. But if we are able to open ourselves up, we will find our suffering transformed. It will still hurt, but we will realize that we do not have to go through the darkness alone. That we are never alone. That we are inexorably connected to the whole.
Our greatest sense of meaning is found in loving those around us. In holding those we love through the hard times. In giving what we can to ease another’s suffering. We cannot take responsibility for their pain. And we cannot give more that we have. But the truth is: our compassion is a gift to us as well. All the kindness we give makes us feel more connected. It strengthens the bonds that hold us. It gives us a sense of purpose and belonging. It shows us who we really are.
Suffering is not something to be wished for. It is not something to be pursued. But it happens. None of us will be able to avoid it in this life. So when it comes, do not be afraid. When we open ourselves up to it, it can teach us things that nothing else can. It can show us the truth of what it means to be human. How our hearts all beat as one. How the thing holding us all together is love.
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